by tesa kaban “…Lead me to the cross where Your love pour out..” …Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends…” (John 15:13)
Anyone can say anything. But this is my story:
“She is running, a hundred miles an hour, in a wrong direction…” I remember my days in the darkness before I met Someone who can change my life completely. Do I know that I live in the darkness? No. I was a good girl, I went to church every Sunday. I made good marks in my study. I participated much in organization and events. I had a lot of friends who like me.
“She’s made her mark, but lost her spark… and what she’s pushing for, she can’t remember…” It looked like that my life is going great, flowing in a very good direction and dedicated to fulfill big dreams. See i had nothing to worry about. But how did I feel as a person? Did I satisfy with myself? Did I satisfy with this world? The truth is, I missed something deep inside me.
My friends, this article is simple, easy to get, cause my point is a question to all of you: do you satisfy? or something’s empty deep inside you?
“… and i realize the reason You came…” What i came to realize, that this world is pale, empty and poor. It provides me, but doesn’t satisfy me. It gives me, but doesn’t make me full. It cheers me up, but it fades away quickly.
One day, in my latest darkness day, i remember i cried on my bed. Suddenly that time i felt bad, i was angry for something’s missing. Then i heard a voice. I’m not a liar, i do heard it. The voice came up with a simple line: I love you. I felt my tears running down to my cheeks. I was shaking. “How does a simple line, I love you, tremble me so? Who said that line?”
Gently, the voice led me to my bible:
That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation (Rom 10:9-10).
In that moment, i saw hope. “So that voice was Jesus”. He himself was speaking to me, willing to fill me and completing my life. And that night, i dedicated my life fully to Lord Jesus.
“…when no one’s around and everything’s broken, YOUR beauty remains…” I did not know that time what He did, but i felt different. All i knew that i wasn’t empty anymore. My heart was satisfied. You can’t understand this feeling unless you experience it. The experience makes me long to stay in God’s present as He satisfies my soul.
Day after day with Him, now i know that He is not just coming to satisfy me, He also redeems me from my sin, He heals me, He fixes up my character and gives me future. I know all of that from Holy Bible and i love it.
It’s funny one day when i bought a new camera and i thought i’d be satisfied having it. Well, yes i was feeling so happy. But when it was handed to me, the feeling stopped there. The feeling reached a very small part of my life and then faded away. The same things happen over and over. Now I know, only Jesus name can reaches every part of my heart and His name will never fade.
What you have can’t satisfy you. What you eat can’t do. What you achieve can’t do. Your friends can’t do. Your relationship with anyone can’t do. What you see, what you hear, what you touch; they can’t satisfy you. Your study, your friends, your mate, your smoke, your drugs, your dance, your church, your pastor, your popularity, your lifestyle, your job and THIS WORLD never can do. It lights you up just for a moment. Believe me, it will fade away one day.
“…everlasting Your light will shine when all else fades…”
Knowing your deep desire is Jesus, a proof of perfect love. You can’t fix your life by your own, you’ll feel tired of it. I’d been in the same circle before, round and round and round. I have no intention to bring anyone down. But friends, don’t run in a wrong direction, let He shows you the right one because He is the way the truth and the life. Amen.
I’m growing up now. I should not live by feeling, but by faith. He satisfied my soul and He has something bigger for me to do. I’m created to know Him not just to feel satisfy, but also to do big things with my faith.
And I’m heading up to it…
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